I've always known that I was attached to my kids and didn't want them to EVER grow up but after this last couple weeks it's obvious to everyone around me that it's time to let go and cut the cord already. You're probably asking yourselves what huge special event caused this epiphany. Well, Jackson and Lucie were in their primary program and they asked Jackson if he would be willing to have a speaking part. He was supposed to say "paying our tithing". I teach in primary and so I was there during all of the practices. I'm more than a little embarrassed to say that everytime I could hear Lucie singing or when Jackson went up to the pulpit and said his part (all by himself just like the other kids) I would immediatly start crying. The first time this happened I thought it was most likely a hormonal issue so I started my cream to balance my hormones better. It didn't help. I continued to cry every Sunday when they practiced. Finally on the day of the Primary program, I knew what was going to happen and just warned everyone that I was going to cry and please don't tease me about it. That morning I asked Jackson if he remembered his part. He said yes and then blurted out "not paying out tithing!" and laughed histerically. You can imagine my horror as I can picture him up in front of everyone saying "not paying our tithing" and then giggling . We immediatly went to bribery. If he would say his part right, then he could get a new game for the wii. We got to the church early, which never happens, and then I really started to well up. My kids are growing up so fast. The closer it got to Jackson's part, the more nervous I got for him but he did it and hardly seemed nervous at all. He said his part and turned around to walk back to his chair with the biggest grin on his face I've ever seen. Needless to say I really started to cry, and in fact I'm tearing up just thinking about it now.
Then, if this wasn't enough, they asked him to give a talk in primary yesterday. I tried to make it easy enough for him to do himself, though I didn't really want him to. I printed coloring pics of things like a church, butterlfy, kids praying and then had him color them and glued them to popsicle sticks. All he would have to say is, "I can think of Heavenly Father when...I go to primary, or when I see a butterfly, etc.". We practiced and practiced. Then yesterday when it was time for his talk I went up to help him and he pushed my away. As if that wasn't enough he then gave his whole talk by himself. I wanted to burst out bawling and scream "It's not fair! You were supposed to be my baby forever!". That's when I realized that if I want him have friends and be "typical" then I would need to LET him be independent and grow up. I guess what I'm saying is I promise to stop hovering too closely. You can't expect me to cut the cord completely! He is only 6 1/2. I do have a favor to ask, if you see me not letting one of my kids grow up, please slap me and tell me to be grateful for it.
